Interview with Kevin Lane Dearinger, April 26, 2018

Partial Transcript: This is Adriana Sisko and I am at the Nunn Center doing an interview with Kevin Dearinger.

Segment Synopsis: Dearinger gives a brief overview of his life, including the various Catholic schools he attended in his youth, the careers that he had, and where he is living currently and will until his death.

Keywords: Boarding schools; Broadway; Christ the King School; Civil engineering; Connecticut; English; Equity cards; Family plots; Fathers; Gravesites; Home; Lexington Catholic High School; Lexington Cemetery; Maiden names; Middle names; Mothers; New York; Professors; St. Leo School; Theater; University of Kentucky

Subjects: Careers; Catholicism; Lexington (Ky.); Teachers; Versailles (Ky.); Woodford County (Ky.)

Partial Transcript: Uh, you mentioned that you went to Catholic school for a time when you were growing up.

Segment Synopsis: Dearinger talks about what it was like growing up going to Catholic school and in a family that was delayed in converting to Catholicism.

Keywords: Baptism; Catholic education; Catholic schools; Fathers; Issues; LGBTQ; Lexington Catholic High School; Mothers; Priests; Protestant; Southern Baptist; Spiritual beliefs; Statues; Worship

Subjects: Bullying.; Catholicism; Catholics; Conversion.; Education; Families.; Homosexuality and education.; Religion

Partial Transcript: You mentioned you reinvented yourself at a certain point.

Segment Synopsis: Dearinger discusses how he reinvented himself in his senior year of high school to seek refuge from the torment of his classmates. He also talks about his freshmen year of college and the homophobia he experienced in the theater community/department at the University of Kentucky as well as in New York, the boarding schools he taught at later in life, as well as his feelings toward it. He also comments on his brother's homosexuality and how they bonded over their similarities.

Keywords: Actors; Affection; Asexual; Awards; Beat up; Books; Boy of the Year; Bravery; Brothers; Churches; Code words; College professors; Cowardly; Depression; Development; Direction; Editors; English departments; Fathers; Freshmen year; Friends; Gay directors; Girls; Harassment; Head of school; Immature; Interests; Into Manhood (Book); Journals; Kissing; Leather; Literary magazines; Mental illness; Name-calling; Parents; Playground talk; Plays; Principal's office; Protection; Punches; Pushed; Role models; Schools; Shoved; Shy; Singing; Sisters; Slurs; Speech clubs; Spit; Struggles; Students; Suspension; Theater community; Theater departments; Trucks; University of Kentucky; Word; Writers; Yearbooks

Subjects: AIDS (Disease); Bullying.; Catholicism; Catholics; Gay men.; Gay teachers; Gays--Identity.; Homophobia.; Homosexuality and education.; Homosexuality.; Parents of gays.; Rape.; Teachers; Violence

Partial Transcript: Tell me a little bit more about--you mentioned theater was your refuge, your gay refuge.

Segment Synopsis: Dearinger discusses why he found theater to be a good refuge for himself, as well as mentions that the theater community was where he found gay friends. He talks about his time in undergrad where he learned that he was not comfortable in bars and met a doctor that told him that being gay is only about sex.

Keywords: 'Kentucky mush mouth'; Anonymity; Apartments; Barracks; Bars; Bikes; Campus; Car; Comfort; Comfortable; Consonants; Crackers; Desks; Doctors; Drugs; English accents; English courses; Family; Freshmen year; Gays friends; Gestures; Headaches; Houses; Jobs; Junior year; Loss; Marching; Money; Mothers; New York; Parties; People; Police; Prescriptions; Psychiatrists; Psychological testing; Refuge; Roommates; Sex; Sexual nature; Shouting; Soup; Story; Strangers; Tea bags; Tense; Thoughts; Tuition; Undergraduate; University of Kentucky Medical Center; Upset; Valium

Subjects: Gay community; Gay men.; Gays--Identity.; Homophobia.; Homosexuality.; Theater.

Partial Transcript: You--I remember you remarked earlier, that--and I forget, uh, what, you know, era in your life you were talking about, but you mentioned something about how--

Segment Synopsis: Dearinger discusses the process of his coming out to his family, though most of them figured it out on their own. He emphasizes the process of telling his parents in his fifties and talks about his incredibly understanding brother and sister.

Keywords: 'Decorating gene'; Actresses; Aunts; Bright; Brothers; Changes; Clichés; Cousins; Dimples; Dinner; Discussion; Fathers; Friends; Front yards; Grandmothers; HIV negative; Heart; Honey; Ignored; Impeccable; Inferring; Judgment; Natural; Perfect; Politicians; Pride; Quiet; Self indulgent; Shock; Signs; Sisters; Subjects; Subtle; Surprises; Uncles; Upstairs; Vacations; Women

Subjects: Coming out (Sexual orientation); Gay men.; Gays--Family relationships.; Homophobia.; Parents of gays.

Partial Transcript: A couple times you, uh, referenced moving to New York and doing a lot in New York.

Segment Synopsis: Dearinger briefly discusses his time in New York and the extent of his bar going. He also talks about the honesty that was expected between crew members.

Keywords: Broadway; Caution; Crowds; Directors; Equity cards; High tenors; Honesty; Mentally fit; Musical theater; New York City (N.Y.); Openly gay; Physically fit; Piano bars; Shows

Subjects: Careers; Gay bars; Gay community; Gay men.; New York (N.Y.); Theater.

Partial Transcript: And then when GRID happened, which later was HIV.

Segment Synopsis: Dearinger briefly discusses his time spent in Connecticut, as well as how important it is for young gay people to have role models. He mentions some of the role models that were available to him and how they compared to later role models he found.

Keywords: 'Sweet Evening Breeze'; Actors; Affection; Apologize; Athletic; Bad; Boarding schools; Boyfriends; Celibacy; College; Connecticut; Decision; Dirty; Draft; Drama programs; Dreams; Fears; Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA); Gay-related immune deficiency (GRID); Goats; Heart; Henry Faulkner; Hospitals; Intimacy; James Herndon; Jobs; Judgmental; Lexington Catholic High School; Lighting designers; Local bishops; Maternal grandparents; Romantic; Same sex attraction; Scared; Silence; Small minded; Snoring; Stage managers; Students; Tantrums; Themes; Writing

Subjects: AIDS (Disease); Death.; Families.; Gay community; Gay men.; Gay teachers; Gays--Identity.; Role models.; Teachers

Partial Transcript: Uh, when you were talking about, um, your time in Connecticut teaching at the Catholic boarding school, you mentioned that this is in the midst of the AIDS crisis.

Segment Synopsis: Dearinger discusses the deaths of friends during the AIDS crisis and how he moved from New York to Connecticut to avoid the disease. He talks about missing memorial services because of being in Connecticut as well as returning to the road to perform. He then talks about teaching at a Catholic school in New York and about the gay priests that got drunk before noon.

Keywords: 'Gaydar'; AIDS Epidemic; AIDS/HIV; Actors; Address books; Beautiful; Boyfriends; Catholic day schools; Celibacy; Changes; Condominiums; Connecticut; Dates; Denial; Elderly; Embarrassment; Faculty members; Friends; Gin; Grandmothers; History classes; Hospitals; Information; Journals; Memorial services; Parents; Performing; Phone numbers; Plastic; Poison; Priests; Problems; Sexual revolution; Students; Syndrome

Subjects: AIDS (Disease); Catholicism; Death.; Gay community; Gay men.; New York (N.Y.); Retirement.; Teachers

Partial Transcript: How would you characterize your relationship with Kentucky itself?

Segment Synopsis: Dearinger discusses his opinion of Kentucky as a whole as well as some of the changes that he has noticed throughout the years. He also talks about some of the spaces in which he feels safe. The concept of jargon is also discussed heavily.

Keywords: Allergy season; Antisemitism; Art; Bad Sex in Kentucky (Book); Bikes; Blossoms; Blue county; Bob Morgan; Box; Chicken salad sandwiches; Compartmentalizing; Culture spots; Department stores; Depression; Derby Day; Divide; Downtown; Drug stores; Ernesto Scorsone; Eternal; Experiences; Fathers; Flocks; Flowers; Friendly; Fussy; Gathering; Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA); Georgetown Road; Hamburgers; Hearing; Horses; Human beings; Invitations; Jim Gray; Judges; Kentucky Theater; Labels; Learning; Mainstream; Malls; Mayors; Name-calling; Nazis; Neighborhoods; New Circle Road; New York; Nice; Noise; Older women; Oppressiveness; Organizations; Other; Peonies; Pharmacists; Plants; Political mind; Race; Rain drops; Red bud; Rules; Safe; Sentimental; Shopping centers; Sisters; Slurs; Smiley Pete; Spaces; Sports bars; Spring; Summers; Sunday paper; Support; Terrifying; Tobacco; University of Kentucky; Wagons

Subjects: African Americans.; Anderson County (Ky.); Discrimination.; Gay community; Gay men.; Jargon (terminology).; Kentucky; Lexington (Ky.); Racism

Partial Transcript: Tell me a little bit more, or even a lot more, actually, about--(laughs)--about your writing.

Segment Synopsis: Dearinger talks about how he got started writing extensively and how a co-worker's criticism encouraged him to go above and beyond to perfect his creative writing skills. He also talks about some of his published pieces, along with a few of the plays he wrote. He also discusses the works he is in the process of writing, including a musical he was part of that did not make it to Broadway, as well as one on the subject of the stigma of intimacy in Kentucky.

Keywords: Abuse; Academic writing; Analytical writing; Articles; Autobiography; Bad Sex in Kentucky (Book); Betty Davis; Biography; Books; Clyde Fitch and the American Theatre: An Olive in the Cocktail (Book); Colleagues; Creative writing; Drama; Egos; English teachers; Flops; Gibberish; Grammar; Josh Logan; Journals; LGBTQ element; Love affairs; Love letters; Marie Prescott: "A Star of Some Brilliance" (Book); Miss Moffet; Musicals; New York; Oscar Wilde; Playwrights; Poetry; Publishers; Retirement; Role models; Short stories; Stage managers; Teaching; Techniques; The Bard in the Bluegrass: Two Centuries of Shakespearean Performance in Lexington, Kentucky (Book); Theater history; Work

Subjects: Authors.; Gay men.; Gay teachers; Lexington (Ky.); Novels.; Plays.; Teachers; Writing.

Partial Transcript: Tell me a bit about, um, yourself when you were younger, like during that time period, compared to now in terms of how you view yourself and in terms of self acceptance, particularly, obviously, sexual identity, sexuality.

Segment Synopsis: Dearinger discusses what he was like when he was younger and some of the regrets he has now that he is older. He also talks about his feelings toward his bullies in school and how he hopes to help Lexington Catholic High School, where he was bullied, to expand their openness.

Keywords: "It does get better"; 'Culture vulture'; Alone; Awkward; Bell; Boring; Boyfriends; Burgers; Children; Classes; Diversity Day; Diversity directors; Elementary schools; Embarrassment; Essays; Evolution; Expression; Facebook; Fears; Forgiveness; Groups; Isolation; LGBTQ; Lexington Catholic High School; Life; Loners; Long term relationships; Love; Openness; Partners; Philharmonic; Presidents; Principals; Psychotherapist's office; Regrets; Resources; Self conscious; Self-image; Shy; Significant others; Sisters; Sports bars; Students; Talk; Traumatized; Vulnerable; Work

Subjects: Bullies.; Bullying.; Gay adoption.; Gay men.; Gay teachers; Teachers

Partial Transcript: Tell me a little bit more about your relationship with teaching and with your students 'cause that seems to be like a light in your life.

Segment Synopsis: Dearinger talks about the love that he holds in his heart for the students he taught. Though he was said to be a demanding teacher, his students had him from middle school to graduation and his classroom was often filled with laughter.

Keywords: Children; Company; Demanding; Emotional give-and-take; English; Facebook; Graduation; Grandparents; Happy; Intellectual give-and-take; Laughing; Letters of recommendation; People; Public speaking; Re-connecting; Reunions; Schools; Students

Subjects: Gay men.; Gay teachers; Marriage; Retirement.; Teachers

Partial Transcript: Um, I know for your, you know, career in terms of theater and teaching that you've lived in various regions.

Segment Synopsis: Dearinger discusses his experiences with the attitude towards the gay community in the various places that he has traveled. He also talks about expanding his education during his travels and about his reserved attitude towards sex and the bar scene.

Keywords: Academics; Arm chair prose; Art historians; Beautiful; Bread Loaf School of English; Brothers; Cockroaches; Emotion; English pubs; Footnotes; Graduate degrees; Graduate programs; Graduate students; Heart; Human nature; Jolly Farmer; Lincoln College, Oxford; Love life; Middlebury College; Neediness; Pride; Puritan; Romantic; Sacred; Sex; Sexual connection; Sexual revolution; Summer programs; Tasseled shoes; Theater history; Tutors

Subjects: Education; Gay bars; Gay community; Gay men.; Oxford (England); Travel.

Partial Transcript: Um, I think you've already kind of touched on this, um, but I want to ask the question more blatantly.

Segment Synopsis: Dearinger talks about his involvement with the LGBTQ community as well as his loathing of being labeled and letting the concept of labeling people consume his life. He tells stories about his friends gawking at runners, a mean girl in high school bashing his record collection, and being called a twink by the owner of a restaurant in New York.

Keywords: 'Bears'; 'Twinks'; Anecdotes; Attractive; Boxes; Categories; Conversations; Cool; Cute; Dance; Demographics; Elementary schools; Friends; Gay; Herman's Hermits; Jon Coleman; Judgment; Key; LGTBQ community; Labels; Laughter; Lighting designers; Male; Mates; New York City (N.Y.); Not cool; Not cute; Owners; Package of meat; Painful; Pecks; Petitions; Petula Clark; Political battles; Problematic; Record collections; Restaurants; Runners; Self; Social life; Sock hops; Strangers; The Beatles; Ugly; Vans; White

Subjects: Culture.; Gay bars; Gay community; Gay pride parades; Gays--Identity.; Jargon (terminology).

Partial Transcript: Uh, um, so my next question is really open and about what you would like to talk about.

Segment Synopsis: Dearinger talks about his medical insurance and how they will not pay for HIV testing anymore due to his age.

Keywords: AIDS/HIV; Address books; Bitter; Fears; Friends; High profile; Implications; Love; Medicare; Negative; New York Times; Risky behaviors; Sexual revolution; Supplements; Terrible experiences; Testing

Subjects: AIDS (Disease); Death.; Gay community; Gay men.; HIV infections

Partial Transcript: Uh, I feel terrified by the current government.

Segment Synopsis: Dearinger talks about his feeling towards the Trump administration as well as the atmosphere in New York after the election. He also discusses Trump's association with the theater community in New York and the community's feelings toward him.

Keywords: 'Babylonian mud demon'; Bookstores; Building; Cold; Fake; Janice Ian; Liars; Mean; New York City (N.Y.); Phony; Posters; Power; Rainbow pins; Reputations; Resist pin; Terrible; Theater community; Tony Kushner; Ugly; Wife

Subjects: Anderson County (Ky.); Bullies.; Elections; Politics and government; Theater.; Trump, Donald, 1946-; Voting

Partial Transcript: Yeah, I wanted to know more about your outlook on the future.

Segment Synopsis: Dearinger talks about what he looks forward to in the future, as well as the advice his father gave him on his death bed and his father's constant support throughout his and his siblings' lives.

Keywords: Advice; Alliances; Allies; Autobiographies; Beliefs; Better; Brothers; Colleagues; Deep-soul; Divisions; Eccentric; Fair; Flaws; Golden rule; Inclusion; Jargon; Judgment; Kind; Loners; National Guard; Optimistic; Relatives; Society; Students; Sunk; Tear gas; Therapeutic; Vietnam War; Weddings; Wise

Subjects: Future.; Gay community; Gay men--Identity.